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Debra Ollivier
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What French Women Know: About Love, Sex, and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind Kindle Edition

by Debra Ollivier (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.1 4.1 out of 5 stars 184 ratings
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The Los Angeles Times bestseller! "A Gallic prescription for living a life that is richer, more sensual, messier, and a lot more fun" (Boston Globe)

It's not the shoes, the scarves, or the lipstick that gives French women their allure. It's this: French women don't give a damn. They don't expect men to understand them. They don't care about being liked or being like everyone else. They accept the passage of time, celebrate the immediacy of pleasure, embrace ambiguity and imperfection, and prefer having a life to making a living.

In What French Women Know, Debra Ollivier goes beyond stale ooh- la-la stereotypes, challenging ingrained notions about sex, love, marriage, motherhood, and everything in between. With savvy, provocative thinking from French mistresses and maidens alike, Ollivier presents a refreshing counterpoint to the tired love dogma of our times, and offers realistic, liberating alternatives from the land that knows how to love.
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  1. Print length
    176 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Sticky notes
    On Kindle Scribe
  4. Publisher
    Berkley
  5. Publication date
    July 23 2009
  6. Reading age
    18 years and up
  7. File size
    672 KB
  8. Page Flip
    Enabled
  9. Word Wise
    Enabled
  10. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
  11. See all details
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Product description

About the Author

Debra Ollivier is the bestselling author of What French Women Know and Entre Nous. She was raised in Los Angeles and attended UCLA and the Sorbonne where she received degrees in French literature. Her writing has appeared in several publications including The Guardian, Le Monde, and Harper’s Magazine. Ollivier spent more than 10 years in Paris before returning to California.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B002IPZJ74
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Berkley (July 23 2009)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 672 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 176 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.1 4.1 out of 5 stars 184 ratings

About the author

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Debra Ollivier

Debra Ollivier

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Debra Ollivier has written for Salon, Harpers, Playboy, Le Monde, and a variety of other publications. She's a California girl who married a Frenchman and lived in France, where her children were born, for a decade. She now lives in Los Angeles.

Customer reviews

4.1 out of 5 stars
4.1 out of 5
184 global ratings

Top reviews from Canada

T. Johnson
5.0 out of 5 stars Fabulous!
Reviewed in Canada on March 30, 2013
I absolutely loved Ollivier's brisk writing style and clever analysis of what makes the French so fantastique! Her numerous allusions to French authors and philosophers provides a lot of future reading opportunities to really dig deep into the historic underpinnings of French culture. Must read for those enamoured, as I, with all things French.
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Sarah T
3.0 out of 5 stars The French Are Not Romantics; Who Knew?
Reviewed in Canada on May 22, 2015
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This book contains no shocking revelations but it was worth my while to discover that the happily-ever-after romanticism that permeates North American culture has no place in French women's lives. Like other European cultures, the French are pragmatic about their love lives. They understand that when marriages don't thrive (or partners just get bored with one another) it is much healthier to have a discreet affair than to shatter the family by getting a divorce. As a result children are more likely to mature in stable environments and have realistic expectations about relationships. Their attitudes seem much healthier than the expectations of many North American girls who hope to find permanent happiness with the perfect man.
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No One
4.0 out of 5 stars Good insight into the relationship differences in French vs American cultures
Reviewed in Canada on April 30, 2010
I whipped through this book pretty fast, eager to find any bits of information that can help me land my french man friend. Its a bit repetitive, but maybe its needed for some of the fundamental differences to sink in. Definately a great read if your are trying to understand the French relationship culture. The reality of American men is kind of depressing however, because they are so very different.
4 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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Prometheus Worley
5.0 out of 5 stars "C'est Magnifique!"
Reviewed in the United States on November 28, 2016
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"C'est Magnifique!"

The intoxicating allure of Sophie Marceau, the disturbingly deep dark erotic attraction of Eva Green, and seductive sensualizing hypnotic essence of Marion Cotillard all make perfect sense now!!! French women may not be as voluptuously endowed as their fellow female counter parts across the pond but their sophisticated "laissez-faire" demeanor and unapologetic sense of personal style, classic fashion awareness and impeccable taste places them on a whole different level. Debra Ollivier has definitely done her research, as one (an American male) who has dated French women from various regions within France, "What French Women Know: About Love, Sex, and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind", is quite accurate in numerous areas.

Admittedly, many years ago, I was among the uninformed regarding the subtleties and nuances of dating various types of woman from abroad. I had somehow come to believe (I guess as a result from watching way too many foreign films...Lol) that most women were pretty much the same all round the world....how wrong I was!!! Every moment and experience shared with my former French loves took on a whole new meaning. Every meal prepared with fresh organic ingredients that we shopped for daily and shared with friends became a culinary etiquette masterclass for me. Every unforgettable improvised summertime picnic spent frolicking in the warmth of the sun, eating baguettes, cinnamon apple slices, and Brie de Melun cheese created luxurious landscapes of Monet's famous Giverny Garden within my minds eye.

Wine for the first time in my life took on an aromatic flair and seductive essence that only a seasoned lover could. Like an elegant bolshoi ballerina delicately dancing the first movements of Swan Lake, Cabernet Sauvignon leaped across my palette as if to enact a Grand Jeté. No room for egos here, my foreign amours were my teachers and I, their humble student. A education in french female etiquette worth its weight in gold was what I received as I seamlessly transitioned from one romantic relationship (and friendship) to the next.

Everything Debra Ollivier touches on was indeed what I witnessed. These French women
(ranging in age from 28-49) (From areas: Paris, Bordeaux, Lyon, Orléans, Nantes, Marseille):

1) Fashion style was classic, simplistic, yet incredibly chic and simply gorgeous.

2) They possessed a genuine Joie de vivre and realistic sense of life /work balance.

3) They purchased /ate/ cooked fresh foods religiously and did not eat snacks a lot.

4) If they did snack, it was on fruits, nuts, cheeses, things like that.

5) If they did have a big meal, they would plan to compensate for it usually the next day.

6) They "ALL" had closets full of various types of beautiful lingerie and made a point to have a budget set aside, just for these purchases.

7) They were well educated, extremely intelligent, very opinionated and had such an amazing uncanny way to fiercely disagree with your position on a matter while simultaneously loving and adoring you.

8) In areas regarding relationships, they saw shades of grey and not American styled puritanical black & white limitations. They seemed to intuitively understand that life was about phases and experiences, not necessarily a "Happily Ever After" goal post to continuously seek. They were present and lived life truly in the moment.

9) They held their cards close to their chest. With them it was not a "tell all" and "tell everything" about yourself session, the first couple of dates. They possessed an aura of mystery that literally fascinated me each and every time I spent time with them. To tell the truth, I'd say that's what probably kept me longing for them and wanting their company. Even if it was for simple fun intellectually stimulating conversation.

10)Their laughter, humor, and way of not taking themselves so serious made them devastatingly beautiful. It was easy to see and understand why so many men fall for French women.

It goes without saying, I highly recommend giving this title a try. Debra Ollivier's narration is simply wonderful. When mentioning various french women she spoke with, the french accent she uses is totally adorable.

I think Jason Clarke said it best regarding French women: "You need mystery. You actually do. I think that's what foreign women, French women in particular, are good at. There's still a sense that you need to keep some of the unknown because that's where the soul resides, or something.
17 people found this helpful
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Marina
5.0 out of 5 stars Very good!
Reviewed in Germany on December 5, 2012
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Excellent book! Witty, written in an excellent manner. I enjoyed read it. Good insight in French society based on author's personal experience. Chapters: Men, Mystery, Rules, Perfection, Nature, Art de vivre, Body - each gives an French woman way of loving, living, seducing, enjoying...
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Diagon
3.0 out of 5 stars Good in places, offensive in others
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 26, 2011
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I must agree with the other reviewer of this book - the cultural assumptions in this book are both annoying and patronising. Based on Ollivier's portraits of stereotypical American and French women I really don't see how British women could be lumped in with the Americans (who she makes out to be unstylish, uptight and gauche). Talking in these types of stereotypes, as we are, British women are actually more of a blend of the two. Is Ollivier aware that Britain is part of Europe?! She appears to have drawn a bold, cultural line with France and the rest of Europe on one side and every body else on the other. Apparently, European women are chic, intellectual, discerning, discreet to the point of coldness and are suspicious of other women. On the other side of the line are American and British women who don't know how to dress, can't invite ayone over without giving a guided tour of their whole house and live overly sanitised, dull sounding lives driven by targets and OCD. Oh, and we all eat crap, plastic food because we don't know any better. I don't know if American women are really like this (none of the ones I've known have been) and I've never known a french woman well so I can't comment but I really don't see how the British could fit into either category.

I'm generally loathe to leave a bad review for anyone, never mind an author whose other work I like so much. Perhaps it is why this is such a disappointment. 'Entre Nous' is interesting and funny (if you can ignore the cultural assumptions which are still there but thankfully less prevalent)and I have read and enjoyed it several times. This one drags on a bit, though I enjoyed it more on my second attempt. I've given this book 3 stars as there are many great 'bits', it is just that the 'whole' is tainted by Ollivier's need to highlight the marvels of the French by having a swing at everyone else. I suppose I am just offended at having unflattering and inaccurate generalisations made about British women (and thus about myself and the wonderful women I know) by someone who has clearly spent very little time here at all!
11 people found this helpful
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tree111
3.0 out of 5 stars Sehr dicht, viele Zitate
Reviewed in Germany on December 12, 2014
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Das Buch hat mich überrascht durch mehr wissenschaftlichen Anspruch als ich durch Bild und Titel erwartet hatte. Einiges fand ich interessant. Der Schreibstil war mir persönlich jedoch nicht angenehm zu lesen und der Inhalt hat mich nicht genug begeistert, um es zu Ende zu lesen.
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EJ88
5.0 out of 5 stars A refreshing look on life, and a very entertaining read.
Reviewed in the United States on December 10, 2011
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This book offers much more than a French outlook on love and sex, it speaks of a way of life that is worth living. A life where you enjoy the sensuality of food, culture, conversation, the joy and simplicity of napping during the day and taking everything in stride.

America puts a limit on what sexy is, you must have perfect hair and a perfect body, you must remove all bodily hair and cake on makeup and mask your natural beauty. It is so refreshing to read about a culture were beauty is much more than skin deep, where older women are seen as sensual beings with a wisdom that is only gained with time, rather than as saggy old sexless spinsters. In America sexy is all about how you look and how young you are. It has nothing to do with your intelligence and wit, this is something that I have always found irksome (and that brings out my inner feisty feminist)

This book has really opened my eyes on many "Americanisms" that I myself have and that have been damaging to my long term relationship with my man. It's hard to feel sexy when you don't fit the "sexy mold" in America; where who you are is not enough, you must also have perfect hair, flawless makeup, thick hips and a skinny waste and size 32 C breasts. French women turn what American women call flaws into something flawless, a uniqueness about them that sets their beauty apart from the rest. Not only that, but rather than spending their lives trying to be someone else, French women are free to explore who they are as individuals and flaunt it. Now that is sexy.

I am so happy that I picked up this wonderful book. I only wish America was more French, then perhaps I could buy a box of condoms in the store without the teenage boys behind me nearly tipping over in a fit of giggles. I can honestly say that lack of maturity is what makes many American guys so repellent to me. Lucky for me I found a guy who embodies the way of life depicted in this book. I love my Hispanic boyfriend. He is so.... French.
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